One of the best things medical providers can do

There have been moments here in the PICU that I’ve felt empowered as a mom, even when there sometimes is little I can control. One of those moments was yesterday, prior to extubation. The resident, who we’ve had many times over the past week, was sharing thoughts on if Ryan and I should be in the room when the attempted to take Nash’s breathing tube out. His response was SO helpful.

He said, “well, I was thinking it would be great if you were there since you’ve been there with him through everything else.” He also shared that he generally likes having families there. Sometimes it can feel like I’m in the way, or don’t know how to help, so this response was just what I needed. Creating the feeling of parents feeling important, valued, and empowered has helped me during this challenging season.

He was right. As anxious as I feel through some of the medical procedures, we’ve been here with him through it. And we will continue to be here as much as we can with our little guy. Each time I handle a procedure that creates some fear, I become more confident. I can handle it.

Sometimes I’ve heard people say, “I could never handle it.” I’ve thought about that statement lately, because I’ve come into some of the times where I would have told you I didn’t know if I could do it. But, it’s like jumping off of a tall ledge when you’re scared. You have to make the jump and see what’s next. There’s no turning back.

I’ve learned over the past week SMALL ways to build my capacity to “handle it.” Smelling the flowers has been a top method. I had recently read how it engages your senses and can help with regulation. It’s been working. In the moments where you feel out of control, try smelling the flowers, or anything that soothes you. It’s in these moments where anxiety starts to fade and you realize you’re here, in this moment. There’s honestly no place I’d rather be.

Daddy and Nash after his breathing tube was removed

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“It’s like we’re in a movie”